Journal Entries
I’ve recently been on a journey of healing and recovery. As an artist I find it is nearly impossible to separate my environment, climate, and lived experience from my music. I’ve been holding on to a few pieces because I’ve been afraid to share them. I wrote this collection of pieces during the deepest darkest depths of the pandemic, they are raw, vulnerable, and tell my lived experience in 2020-2021. I haven't been ready to share because these pieces bring up many strong emotions, but I am ready now. Here are my musical “Journal Entries” from 2020-2021
3-3-2020
I finished Fanfare for a Better Tomorrow
I still find a lot of irony in this piece because I finished it before the pandemic and it’s title and essence as a piece was so relevant to what the world was about to experience days later with the pandemic. I titled it “Fanfare for a Better Tomorrow” before the pandemic even happened, before the world shut down. It was written in response to a personal painful experience within academia and I wanted to write a piece about hope to help myself heal. The piece was commissioned by the CU concert band and was scheduled to be premiered at the CU 100 year celebration at Macky Auditorium in April.
Here is a recording from my old High School who performed it in the spring of 2022.
3-7-2020
My last concert before the world shut down. The premiere of Old as Time with my friends Claire and Pedro
3-11-2020
The whole world shut down due to the Covid 19 Pandemic
3-20-2020
The premiere of my orchestra piece Diamond Dust commissioned by the Pro Musica Chamber Orchestra was canceled. The orchestra has yet to play it… and I suspect they never will…
I had a performance by the CU undergrad orchestra in the fall of 2021 because I maintained contact with a conductor at CU and I made it happen. I find it very easy for my music and I to slip through the cracks and sometimes you have to make something happen yourself.
May 2020
George Floyd was murdered.
I wrote Elegy within 3 days after it happened. This is a very raw and emotional piece, my immediate reaction to his murder and the racial reckoning occurring within the US.
September 2020
Wind Whispers premiered on Faculty Tuesday on a snowy night to an empty hall.
November 2020
Smolder premiered and written for Hocket for “what 2020 sounds like (at CU)”
Written in response to the many wildfires around the state and the physical presence of smoke in the air in Boulder. It was so strong that the air was grey and cloudy, you could smell the smoke in the air and feel it burning in your lungs.
December 2020
I finished Ineffable, written for ~Nois
This is easily the most vulnerable and emotionally raw piece I have ever written. I wrote most of this piece in the wee hours of the night around 2am when I could not sleep. It personifies feelings of depression, anxiety, loneliness, and emptiness.
March 2021
I finished Blaze for the Boulder Altitude directive
This piece was written in response to climate change and the multitude of fires in Colorado. It reflects on the serotinous cone of the lodgepole pine and its ability to replant a forest in the wake of a fire. This piece shows both the devastation and the glimmer of hope that grows from the ashes.
I wrote this piece at the beginning of 2021 and I can’t help but see the irony and timeliness of this piece as the Marshall fire occurred at the end of that same year-2021. The Marshall fire was one of the worst fires in Colorado history burning down over 1000 homes practically overnight.